1. |
White Knuckles
04:02
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White knuckle grip on my life
Gonna strangle the life out of it
When the force that’s driving me forward
Is the same one that’s holding me back
So transfixed by the sight
Of an image far off in the distance
So obsessed I block out the world
Till I’m whittled down to my core
I keep on looking for confirmation
That there’s a point to this chase
Until then I’ll keep moving forward
Searching for the next thing
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2. |
The Aquarium
03:38
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Welcome to the aquarium
Where we’ll watch all the fish from a distance
We’re standing on dry land
Observing how they interact
So naturally, like it’s pure instinct
But we’re so far
From where they are
Step into the living room
Where the crowd is swimming away without you
Can’t identify the difference
That separates you from the rest
So you’ll sit alone and think about it
How you’re so far
From where they are
And you don’t know
Where to start
When the first step
Is always hard
You’re thinking through the ways
That today could be the day that you
Step out of yourself and
Be free with everyone else
But your feet are locked in place
And you know you’re gonna stay the same
The same way
When you’re so far
From where they are
And you don’t know
Where to start
When the first step
Is always hard
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3. |
I Am Fine
03:58
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I’m so tired
Of always feeling like there’s something left before I’m happy with myself
So I will try
Reworking my mind
And when I’m spiraling, I’ll tell myself that I
I am fine
And I don’t have to change to feel alright
And I’ll be fine
The storm inside my head is passing by
I’m on the way
To a place where I can take a breath and finally feel at peace with standing still
And when I wake
I’ll try to be satisfied with my point on my timeline
Cause I am fine
And I don’t have to change to feel alright
I’ll be fine
The storm inside my head is passing by
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4. |
Common Sense
05:21
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I used to make decisions based on logic ‘cuz I didn’t have emotions that were strong enough to drown out all the facts
I just wish I’d known this before it was far too late and all my mental acrobatics left us in an ugly state
I can’t tell you
What I’m thinking
Can’t admit it
To myself
We’ll keep talking
Past each other
Wishing we were
Somewhere else
I’d get out of work and stay and pace around the building hoping it would somehow help me find an easier way out
I’d put in my headphones just to tune out all the music and then fixate on the tremors that were tearing through my chest
I can’t tell you
What I’m feeling
Can’t admit it
To myself
We’ll keep talking
Past each other
Wishing we were
Somewhere else
I can’t tell you
That it’s over
Won’t admit it
To myself
We’ll keep talking
Past each other
Wishing we were
With someone else
And I thought we could walk away and look fondly at the past
Till you taught me that denial is much stronger than
common sense
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5. |
No Matter
04:24
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I open my eyes and stare past the ceiling
Wishing I could leave behind what I’m feeling
When it feels like today will be a waste
Even though I’m only just awake
I reach up to the shelf that sits above my head
Drawing in the weight of my existence
Always searching for that missing sense of optimism
But it’s always blacked out by my tunnel vision, knowing:
No matter the effort this will come to an end
No matter the love, the beauty, the happiness
And these days the eager light feels more intrusive
Reigning in another day that feels useless
And I don’t know if I’ll ever feel okay
No, I can only hope to get there some day.
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6. |
Window Shopping
04:26
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We’ve been at this for hours
And I don’t know a thing
About how you’re feeling
Maybe that’s how it is
You keep a tight lid on all of the things
That I’d find
Interesting
When I’m talking to you
It’s just like we’re window shopping
We keep on scanning the surface
Then turn and keep walking
So it’s on to the next one
Even though we weren’t done
I guess you’re just looking for a different depth of connection
Well I don’t want to waste more time
Avoiding everything that’s on your mind
And how could I find a common ground
When this is all I ever think about
I’m just searching for someone
Who sees where I’m coming from
But I keep on hitting the same wall
This mask that you’re putting on
I wish that I could be content
With this conversation
But I keep on getting so frustrated
With everything that’s left unsaid
No I don’t want to waste more time
Avoiding everything that’s on your mind
And how could I find a common ground
When this is all I ever think about
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7. |
Go On
03:13
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Everything was going so well
Until it wasn’t
Until it wasn’t
Then it all went to hell
So abruptly
So abruptly
And I didn’t see it coming
No one saw it coming
No
But I know we’ll find a way
To go on
To go on
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8. |
Forward Motion
03:42
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You graduated from the role that you’d been playing your whole life
The sudden change made you feel incomplete and terrified
Cause you keep wondering
Who you are
Who you are
And who are you, now you’ve followed the procedure to its end
Now nothing’s spelled out, and each step you have to second guess
And you can’t stop wondering
Who you are
Who you are
Who you are
Save your energy
You can’t force the unknown to make any more sense, so
Save your energy
Don’t assign your decisions so much significance
This state of panic
That you can’t seem to escape
Keeps you focused
On seizing the reigns
So take control
Don’t let your choices be made
There’s time to fail
As long as you learn from your mistakes
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Sonoa New Brunswick, New Jersey
A tree with deep roots, planted at the intersection of alternative rock and introspective chill-core.
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